Wyrd Sisters - Страница 53

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‘But he’s not really a king!’

‘He might be,’ said Nanny.

‘But you just said—’

‘Who knows? The late queen wasn’t very good at counting. Anyway, he doesn’t know he isn’t royalty.’

‘And you’re not going to tell him, are you?’ said Granny Weatherwax.

Magrat stared at the moon, which had a few clouds across it.

‘No,’ she said.

‘Right, then,’ said Granny. ‘Anyway, look at it like this. Royalty has to start somewhere. It might as well start with him. It looks as though he means to take it seriously, which is a lot further than most of them take it. He’ll do.’

Magrat knew she had lost. You always lost against Granny Weatherwax, the only interest was in seeing exactly how. ‘But I’m surprised at the two of you, I really am,’ she said. ‘You’re witches. That means you have to care about things like truth and tradition and destiny, don’t you?’

‘That’s where you’ve been getting it all wrong,’ said Granny. ‘Destiny is important, see, but people go wrong when they think it controls them. It’s the other way around.’

‘Bugger destiny,’ agreed Nanny.

Granny glared at her.

‘After all, you never thought being a witch was going to be easy, did you?’

‘I’m learning,’ said Magrat. She looked across the moor, where a thin rind of dawn glowed on the horizon.

‘I think I’d better be off,’ she said. ‘It’s getting early.’

‘Me too,’ said Nanny Ogg. ‘Our Shirl frets if I’m not home when she comes to get my breakfast.’

Granny carefully scuffed over the remains of the fire.

‘When shall we three meet again?’ she said. ‘Hmm?’

The witches looked at one another sheepishly.

‘I’m a bit busy next month,’ said Nanny. ‘Birthdays and such. Er. And the work has really been piling up with all this hurly-burly. You know. And there’s all the ghosts to think about.’

‘I thought you sent them back to the castle,’ said Granny.

‘Well, they didn’t want to go,’ said Nanny vaguely. ‘To be honest, I’ve got used to them around the place. They’re company of an evening. They hardly scream at all, now.’

‘That’s nice,’ said Granny. ‘What about you, Magrat?’

‘There always seems to be such a lot to do at this time of year, don’t you find?’ said Magrat.

‘Quite,’ said Granny Weatherwax, pleasantly. ‘It’s no good getting yourself tied down to appointments all the time, is it? Let’s just leave the whole question open, shall we?’

They nodded. And, as the new day wound across the landscape, each one busy with her own thoughts, each one a witch alone, they went home.

THE END

About the Author

Terry Pratchett is the accliamed creator of the global bestselling Discworld series, the first title of which, The Colour of Magic, was published in 1983. In all, he is the author of over fifty bestselling books. His novels have been widely adapted for stage and screen, and he is the winner of multiple prizes, including the Carnegie Medal, as well as being awarded a knighthood for services to literature. Worldwide sales of his books now stand at 70 million, and they have been translated into thirty-seven languages.

For more information about Terry Pratchett and his books, please visit

BOOKS BY TERRY PRATCHETT

The Discworld series

1. THE COLOUR OF MAGIC

2. THE LIGHT FANTASTIC

3. EQUAL RITES

4. MORT

5. SOURCERY

6. WYRD SISTERS

7. PYRAMIDS

8. GUARDS! GUARDS!

9. ERIC (illustrated by Josh Kirby)

10. MOVING PICTURES

11. REAPER MAN

12. WITCHES ABROAD

13. SMALL GODS

14. LORDS AND LADIES

15. MEN AT ARMS

16. SOUL MUSIC

17. INTERESTING TIMES

18. MASKERADE

19. FEET OF CLAY

20. HOGFATHER

21. JINGO

22. THE LAST CONTINENT

23. CARPE JUGULUM

24. THE FIFTH ELEPHANT

25. THE TRUTH

26. THIEF OF TIME

27. THE LAST HERO (illustrated by Paul Kidby)

28. THE AMAZING MAURICE AND HIS EDUCATED RODENTS (for young adults)

29. NIGHT WATCH

30. THE WEE FREE MEN (for young adults)

31. MONSTROUS REGIMENT

32. A HAT FULL OF SKY (for young adults)

33. GOING POSTAL

34. THUD

35. WINTERSMITH (for young adults)

36. MAKING MONEY

37. UNSEEN ACADEMICALS

38. I SHALL WEAR MIDNIGHT (for young adults)

39. SNUFF

Other books about Discworld

THE SCIENCE OF DISCWORLD (with Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen)

THE SCIENCE OF DISCWORLD II: THE GLOBE (with Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen)

THE SCIENCE OF DISCWORLD III: DARWIN’S WATCH (with Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen)

TURTLE RECALL: THE DISCWORLD COMPANION … SO FAR (with Stephen Briggs)

NANNY OGG’S COOKBOOK (with Stephen Briggs, Tina Hannan and Paul Kidby)

THE PRATCHETT PORTFOLIO (with Paul Kidby)

THE DISCWORLD ALMANAK (with Bernard Pearson)

THE UNSEEN UNIVERSITY CUT-OUT BOOK (with Alan Batley and Bernard Pearson)

WHERE’S MY COW? (illustrated by Melvyn Grant)

THE ART OF DISCWORLD (with Paul Kidby)

THE WIT AND WISDOM OF DISCWORLD (compiled by Stephen Briggs)

THE FOLKLORE OF DISCWORLD (with Jacqueline Simpson)

MISS FELICITY BEEDLE’S THE WORLD OF POO (with the Discworld Emporium)

Discworld maps

THE STREETS OF ANKH-MORPORK (with Stephen Briggs, painted by Stephen Player)

THE DISCWORLD MAPP (with Stephen Briggs, painted by Stephen Player)

A TOURIST GUIDE TO LANCRE—A DISCWORLD MAPP (with Stephen Briggs, illustrated by Paul Kidby)

DEATH’S DOMAIN (with Paul Kidby)

THE COMPLETE ANKH-MORPORK (with the Discworld Emporium)

A complete list of Terry Pratchett ebooks and audio books as well as other books based on the Discworld series—illustrated screenplays, graphic novels, comics and plays—can be found on

Non-Discworld books

THE DARK SIDE OF THE SUN

STRATA

THE UNADULTERATED CAT (illustrated by Gray Jolliffe)

GOOD OMENS (with Neil Gaiman)

THE LONG EARTH (with Stephen Baxter)

Non-Discworld novels for young adults

THE CARPET PEOPLE

TRUCKERS

DIGGERS

WINGS

ONLY YOU CAN SAVE MANKIND (see )

JOHNNY AND THE DEAD

JOHNNY AND THE BOMB

NATION

DODGER

notes

1

Quaffing is like drinking, but you spill more.

2

Whatever that was. He’d never found anyone prepared to explain it to him. But it was definitely something a feudal lord ought to have and, he was pretty sure, it needed regular exercise. He imagined it was some kind of large hairy dog. He was definitely going to get one, and damn well exercise it.

3

Written by wizards, who are celibate and get some pretty funny ideas around four o’clock in the morning.

4

She did nothing, although sometimes when she saw him in the village she’d smile in a faint, puzzled way. After three weeks of this the suspense was too much for him and he took his own life; in fact he took it all the way across the continent, where he became a reformed character and never went home again.

5

All of them, unfortunately, unprintable.

6

The vermine is a small black and white furry creature, much famed for its pelt. It is a more careful relative of the lemming; it only throws itself over small pebbles.

7

They worked. Witches’ remedies generally did, regardless of the actual form of delivery.

8

A killing insult in Dwarfish, but here used as a term of endearment. It means ‘lawn ornament’.

9

In a manner of speaking.

10

Someone has to do it. It’s all very well calling for eye of newt, but do you mean Common, Spotted or Great Crested? Which eye, anyway? Will tapioca do just as well? If we substitute egg white will the spell a) work b) fail or c) melt the bottom out of the cauldron? Goodie Whemper’s curiosity about such things was huge and insatiable.

* Eye of Newt is one of the ingredients used by the witches in Macbeth, act 4, scene 1.

This scene also resonates very faintly with the famous running gag in the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

...

Bridgekeeper: “What … is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?”

Arthur: “What do you mean? An African or European swallow?”

Bridgekeeper: “Huh? I–I don’t know that! Auuuuuuuugh!”

** Nearly insatiable. It was probably satiated in her last flight to test whether a broomstick could survive having its bristles pulled out one by one in mid-air. According to the small black raven she had trained as a flight recorder, the answer was almost certainly no.

11

Witches never curtsy.

12

No-one knows why men say things like this. Any minute now he is probably going to say he likes a girl with spirit.

13

They always do, everywhere. No-one sees them arrive. The logical explanation is that the franchise includes the stall, the paper hat and a small gas-powered time machine.